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In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. You get to meet complete strangers (not always our strongest suit), who will then subject you to a barrage of intensely personal questions and judge you! There is good news too, but let’s get the bad news out of the way first. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket. You should never feel bad for treating them as such, and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses.

Maybe I’m too high maintenance, but I just couldn’t do it…

In our organization of 25 employees, there are two sets of couples.

Or you just could have a no-dating policy going forward (although good luck with that — it usually just drives dating underground and tends to be seen by people as a major over-reach from the employer).

But your better bet is to in this situation, which means addressing it forthrightly when someone in a couple is behaving in a disruptive manner, like the things you described.

(For those of you who don’t live in NYC, Times Square is like Disneyland) I could hear in his voice that he was trying to romanticize the starbucks thing, when at the end of the day he just wanted a cheap date (which again, I have no problem with just NOT on a Friday night! I was backed into a corner because I’d already said I was free, but I refused to waste my Friday night in Times Square drinking coffee.

Ultimately, I gave him 24 hours notice that I’d have to cancel our coffee date.

Allowing people to date subordinates causes Bad Things.

At best, it creates the appearance (even if not the reality) of bias and special treatment, and it can also mean that the subordinate’s performance isn’t assessed appropriately and the person isn’t given adequate feedback, and it can open your company to charges of harassment down the road (“I wanted to break up with him, but he implied it would affect my standing at work”).

But aside from that, the answer — as it so often is — is to manage.

When someone’s behaving inappropriately or in a way that’s harmful to your organization, address those specific behaviors (i.e., the “trying to ensure they don’t have to take on extra work and having a counterproductive attitude to other staff” part of your letter).*While it’s generally legal in the U. to prohibit dating between coworkers or require one of the parties to move on if a relationship forms, there are a few state exceptions, such as in California, where courts have ruled that the state constitution provides broader privacy protection in employment matters).

Could our organization adopt a “no relationship” policy and therefore require one person from each couple to leave the organization?

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