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I need to protect myself legally, so I want to make this quick disclaimer that this article (or any of my articles) should not be interpreted as professional help and should be read for entertainment purposes only.Anything you do (or don’t do) based on reading this article is your responsibility… So while I do want the very best for you and while I do my very best to write the most high quality content out there, I needed to just say that quick disclaimer before we delve into how to resolve a toxic relationship…

I’m saying that you can imagine leaving and, on a deeper level than the immediate breakup, you can imagine being 100% OK, whole and accepting that it’s over.

Visualizing this is important because it will help your mind see that you really are OK… and it will quiet the voices in your head that fuel your fear of loss (like we talked about in the previous article about signs you’re in a toxic relationship).

You just need to realize two essential truths: Now, notice I used the word “can” up above and not “should”.

I’m not saying that you “shouldn’t” be responsible for his emotions or that he “shouldn’t” be responsible for yours…

You might be in a situation that you don’t want, but you still have control.

I want to make it clear that I’m not saying the situation is your fault or that you deserve what he’s doing or that the situation is somehow “fair” or “not a big deal.” What I’m saying is that you are not helpless…Emotional responsibility is essentially what people are pointing to when they talk about things like “healthy boundaries” or “emotional maturity” or “healthy attachment strategies.” The core of all those positive relationship attributes requires that you have emotional responsibility, which simply acknowledges that you cannot take responsibility for another person’s emotions, actions, and reactions and you can’t hold them responsible for your emotions, actions, and reactions.Again, to hammer the point home, I’m not saying you shouldn’t. To believe otherwise is a very destructive error (a very common error to the point of almost being considered “normal” to believe, but an error nonetheless).I’m not saying you wouldn’t be sad or mourn the end of the relationship…and I’m not saying for you to want to break off your relationship with him…at that point, you’ll need to have clear internal boundaries and decide whether or not you want them to be in your life at all (relationships with family members or the parent to your children might be examples of relationships you don’t sever, but approach with extremely clear boundaries in place).

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